Am I resisting change???

Yikes!  I have set myself some major goals this year and so far, well, it’s been a little slow – like my weekly posts here on JS – and my video project, although started in it’s form here at home has not seen the light of day YET!  So what to do?  Internal criticism won’t get the job done, nor will whinging about it to others…. the best advice is to just do it and then talk about it instead of telling everyone what I ‘plan’ to to….

And am I the only one with a ridiculous pile of things to do??  I have discovered that a perfect way of self sabotage is to fill my life with ‘things’ that take up my time…. mmmmm —when did this all start??? After a life changing event ten years ago, I seem to have been punishing myself for things that happened, denying myself true happiness and success, and now that I’m becoming aware, opening my eyes to the truth, I am still resisting the actual change itself that has come over (in thought at least)

Oh why must I be so loathe to take the steps??  And even as I write this I have determination, and even if it’s baby steps, slow progress on the road, I will not give us as there is nowhere else to go…. painted into a corner fate has forced my hand anyway….!  Some days I wake up and feel the overwhelming leap right onto me before I have the chance to even greet the day!  Routine, where are you???  Good thoughts where have you gone??

Okay, so today I will work on shifting stuff, both externally and internally, fit in some fun, music, cuddling pets and children and see if I can find this magical thing called ‘peace’ that I hear so much about…..

Have a wonderful day people!

Melinda

VP 52

Okay, so here I am, it’s now the second week of the year and no song posted – am I allowed to be flexible and creative in my blogging resolution??? Yes Melinda you are….. (it’s ‘be kind to me’ year)

So I pulled out the big folder of all my original stuff and managed to find 49 complete songs (well almost) and these are the ones I will post this year….. There are some oldies and new ones, some that that hardly been heard and many that need re-writes…. and many that won’t appear on my album!  However I’m looking to do this project for me and for you, the listener… I am honoring the songwriter within and I will bear my musical soul to you and to myself, one song at a time!  So we begin, hope you stick around for some interesting stuff to be posted along the way!!!!

First song coming soon

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Here goes!  It’s 2014 and I have just returned from my very first volunteer role @ Woodford Folk Festival — I am changed for good!  I have neglected my own music, berated myself, helped others without helping myself, tolerated behaviors not aligned to my own, allowed others to take advantage of me and been way to hard on myself.  I had a fair amount of disappointments in 2013, all of which taught me many things – however to make changes in life one must DO SOMETHING!!!  So, my new year’s resolution for my own musical career is to post a song each week up here on my Journey Songs blog, not old versions done years ago but brand new recordings of every song I have written, songs that are lonely and neglected and deserve to be shared….!  So we begin (once I catch up on sleep from 7 days in Woodford Heaven)….. I hope you join me!

Wayne Dyer Inspired…

I am inspired by Wayne Dyer and his philosophies.  Mazlow says, ‘The test of self-actualisation is whether you can be independent of the good opinions of others’. As musicians, we are so sensitive to what others think of us, we are happy to accept the good opinions to make us feel better and not so happy to accept (yet take personally) the not-so-good opinions that make us feel bad.  The only important opinion is the one we hold of ourselves…

A dear friend of mine called with a nasty rejection from a client and felt so devastated – as most of us do when dealt a heavy criticism – and taking these comments to heart started to question her choice to pursue a career as a musician and artist.  I feel very blessed to be the person someone would call with such a predicament, to offer love and support to a fellow musician, to empathize so easily with the feelings of rejection that can be so regular in this music world.  I realize the journey of my life has brought me face to face with many situations that have required the strength to look beyond the opinions of others, my strong desire to live out my existence doing only what gives me peace and joy, to find my life’s purpose are all the reasons I find myself in this place today.  Writing ‘Journey Songs’ feels like the perfect thing to do, and I am at  the place of totally accepting my style of writing, my songs, my voice, my everything…. free of the good and bad opinions of others, but grateful for those who’s words were the catalyst for change and all those people my teachers (thank you!)

So, to all those who have rejected me as a person and/or musician, placed their opinions on me, pushed and prodded my sense of self, allowed me to grow beyond their seemingly hurtful and cruel words and actions – THANK YOU!!!!

And to my friend who inspired this post, and all the others who will read this having had a similar experience, I only ask that you consider the choice you have of changing how you think about what others may think of you – besides I think you are fabulous!!!!